why did God let this happen to me?

I've been there. I've been angry with God and told him how he was being unfair and unjust. To be honest, I didn't deserve what happened to me and I voiced myself pretty well to God. It was something no one deserves and naturally I was unhappy and sad.

Time went by and the question still remained. Why would god let me go through such a hard time when I did not deserve it? Why would he break my heart?
I didn't have the answer. Not until one Sunday

As always I went to church not particularly thinking about this and I still remember the title of the message shook me. It said "why does God allow some things to happen?" It had been nearly 6 months since what had happened, happened and I was finally thankful and grateful that the lord decided to tell me why.

Uncle talked about the time Israel sinned and went away from God. The Lord told the prophet that he would bring in another enemy nation to punish Israel. Now this enemy nation was more sinful than Israel. The prophet was pretty skeptical. Why would god punish sinful Israel with another sinful nation? Afterall the other sinful nation deserved punishment more than Israel. The prophet just couldn't understand what the Lord was doing.

Fast forward, the punishment resulted in Israel being led to exile and the Jews scattered all over the world. When Jesus came into the world and went back into heaven, he told his disciples to stay back in Jerusalem and pray. And on the day of Pentecost, he sent his holy spirit to be with the disciples as he promised. Now the time of Pentecost was around the same time Jews from all over the world who had settled in their places of exile came back to Jerusalem to worship God. And when the Lord sent the holy spirit, he made a way for these Jews to hear his word and repent. Not only did it stop there but these Jews also took it back to their hometowns and the gospel spread across the world.

Now. Did the prophet think of all this? No.
Did I ever think of it this way? No.
Wasn't the timing just about right? Yes.
Wasn't it love and concern that made him send the holy spirit for us? Yes.
Isn't this wisdom so great? Yes.
A wisdom because of which many heard of the eternal life god has to offer to those who trust in him. A wisdom because of which I have a hope. 

One thing became clear to me that day. I might never know why god let let what happen, happen to me, but I can always trust that he has a purpose in the pain. And that's the hope I hold on to.
 
In due time, God may choose to let me know, he might not and I'm okay with that, because I know he is faithful and he never lets anything happen without him knowing.
And in the time when I questioned god and was angry, looking back he was always there. He sent me friends who took care of me, he gave me a family to help me. I was not alone. He was there. But to me,in that moment,my pain was bigger than his presence.

 Till date, I still don't know why, but there js joy and happiness in knowing whatever the reason might be, the Lord has a purpose and I can always rest fully assured of three fundamental truths, three things I know I can fall back upon always - Jesus' irrational love, his unprecedented timing and his incomprehensible wisdom.




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